ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And then my night got REAL pukey
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
