its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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