So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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