you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
