Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
