So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
