Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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