You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
