I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize