We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
