Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
