My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize