doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
