I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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