Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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