Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
