How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i dont even know how to be here
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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