This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
