Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize