Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
