youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
