You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
