I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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