So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
