Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
