Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The adults are the big ones right?
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