about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
