Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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