I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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