could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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