There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
