fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They took my balls.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
