Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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