If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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