is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
