do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
