We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
