Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
