i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
