My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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