I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
