grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
