Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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