why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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