so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need a beard to bite.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
