that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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