turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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