She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
