Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
