Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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