Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
