Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
