remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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