M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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