Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Where are you guys?
Drunk
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize