I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
