are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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