I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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