I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
