She's JV to your varsity
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
