Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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