they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
