people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
