i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
