Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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