u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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