oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
