I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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