I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
