im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I bet he comes in French.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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