well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
