me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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