yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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