she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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